Though I could talk all day about gardening now, this is not about gardening. This is about some common interpretations and cliche's I hear a lot. Some background first. My mom used to get on me when I would say things like "Christians believe this", saying I was overgeneralizing so here is some background.
I worked with New Life Ministries for many years. I got hundreds and hundreds of calls. Back then, there was a radio show that hosted Henry Cloud, Steve Arterburn, John Townsend, Milan Yerkovich, Jill Hubbard and others. People who had bought their books, or who listened to the show would call in. People who had varying difficulties. They had a program for men who struggled with infidelity issues or addiction to porn. They had counselors all throughout the nation for a variety of needs. They had a weight loss program. They had a marriage intensive and many more. It was a privilege to work there and back then, when they called in, I answered the phones, one of many who did so. Often, we would have to spend time with the caller to identify their needs and many times we would hear their whole stories before we could transfer them to the Professional help or the workshops. So, I heard a lot of stories and got a good idea of people's beliefs, from varying denominations.
Before that I was "all in" at a Pentecostal church. I was there 2-3 times a week, went to all the gatherings, believed all the teachings and went into a year long discipleship program selling all my things to do so, to follow Jesus.
After that, I traveled with a well known Christian rock band leader to dozens and dozens of churches. He would sing his band songs, his wife had written a book and so she would preach and then I helped with the CD and book sales. Sometimes I also preached. In those days, I went wherever God led. I saw miracles too, real ones. We picked up and moved whenever we thought God was leading us to. We used to say we were "following the cloud" referencing the Israelites following God in a cloud by day and fire by night. I heard lots of beliefs and stories in traveling to various states and churches with them doing ministry.
Later, I sold everything, again, and went into ministry with a worldwide evangelistic ministry. I'm leaving out names because I do not want to shame anyone but you're welcome to message me if you've had stories that are still affecting you. All that to say, I do have a pretty good idea of what Christians believe. Though I do not think its healthy to make generalized sweeping statements, almost never actually, I do have some things I've heard many times over, even just this last week.
One such belief is rooted in a one time quoted verse from the Bible. It is not really a theme from the Bible itself in my opinion, but it has certainly become so among many. It is from Proverbs and it says to "lean not on your own understanding". So, all the time, I hear this from Christians who use it in the context that they should not really trust their own understanding. It is often debasing when it is said, or alternatively, said to diminish the truth someone else is disclosing. Let me give a scenario. Michelle (fake names used) tells Lisa that she said something hurtful and told her it hurt her feelings and made her want to withdraw. Lisa tells Michelle that she doesn't remember and basically tells Michelle she probably didn't say that. Lisa then quotes Proverbs 3:5 (lean not on your own understanding) and says she really has to question herself and her own filters on hearing things because her understanding is often wrong.
Lisa then quotes Jeremiah 17:9 saying the heart is deceitful so its quite likely Michelle just misinterpreted what Lisa said. This is not a made up scenario. This is also not rare. True circumstance with names changed. As we all know, slave owners often quoted the Bible to justify their use of slavery. We have all heard stories of abusive spouses using the Bible to justify abuse.
Story: Jenna tells Pastor Joy that the preaching is sounding like it believes memorizing Scripture can cure trauma. The messages have been about how one person was cured of her traumatic memories from being abused as a child (called flashbacks), from simply memorizing Gods word. Joy gives examples of people who have "been healed" from this method. Jenna shares she has heard these messages before and that they are dangerous if not coupled with an urging to get Professional help if needed, because they put the person alone in their room with possibly very isolating thoughts. With all we know of mental health, isolating a person is the absolute worst thing to do and this method is doing that. Joy said she is so sorry something happened to Jenna to cause this, indicating it must be an isolated event to be thinking Pastors do this often. Joy implies Jenna should go back to the Pastors who may have abused her before and "confront them", asking if Jenna had "tried that" yet.
Another story: Martha calls about her husband, who is a Pastor, whom she has just discovered is abusing their infant. She describes in detail how this has happened. She also quotes "the heart is deceitful" to justify her husbands behavior saying she knows she "needs to forgive him" so that God can forgive her.
Another story: Abigail is abused by her stepfather. She tells her mom. Her mom does nothing so Abigail quotes to herself "we are all sinners, the heart is deceitful and I am also wicked so I need to forgive and move on".
Another story: a wife calls saying her Pastor husband has been cheating on her. She finds porn on his computer and months of bills to various sites, prostitutes and then a close friend. It has been going on for years, escalating. She is seeking counseling and reconciliation. Her husband does not acknowledge porn is wrong, says he is sorry for cheating and that she should forgive him and submit. He also says if she had given sex more often, he would not have strayed. He also quotes Proverbs 3:5 and Jeremiah and Colossians 3 about wives submitting to their husbands.
I could go on. I am not exaggerating when I say hundreds of these calls. You yourself have heard about needing to forgive abusers and to remember that you're a sinner too.
Back to the point. Christianity as a whole has left its root. Its root is Judaism. That is why it is called Judeo Christian. Romans says Christians are simply grafted in and should not despise their root. Yet, that is exactly what Christians have done. They despise Rabbinic authority because they don't believe in Jesus so they cannot have the Holy Spirit and cannot know more than someone who does "know Jesus". The reason to bring that up is that the entire Bible is written to Jews (save a few of the letter in the newer testament), Jesus is still Jewish and even the letters of Paul are written from a Jewish culture and mindset. This is important, stick with me.
Just yesterday I wrote a letter to a friend. I printed it to let my husband and sponsor read it first. She and I knew exactly what we were referencing because it was still in our text threads. But, he didn't read those so he is jumping in in the middle of a conversation without context. I submit that the entire New Testament is just that, jumping in on a conversation without any context. Do you know any Christians who go to Synagogue? Who are close friends with anyone who is practicing Judaism? Maybe some but that is rare. We are reading and interpreting something that is a conversation we didn't start out in. It is arrogant and presumptuous at best, to assume we know what the Bible is referring to, without ever even learning from Judaism in person.
So, back to the quotes, back to the point :-). Proverbs and Jeremiah. Proverbs 3 starts with a father telling his son to not forget his teaching and commands. A human father giving commands. These are oral commands. God said a lot more to Moses in those many days and nights on the mountain than just the 10 commandments. We teach orally all the time and there was no written word available to the public until the printing press, all truths of the Bible were passed down orally. Yet, Christianity dismisses entirely any and all oral traditions from Rabbis. So, the father is saying this. He gets to where he says to lean not on your own understanding. He is specifically talking about going back and remembering what his father said when he wonders what to do. A man. This verse is about going back to the oral traditions when we don't know what to do, it is directly about that.
It is not about self debasement and self mistrust. It is not a theme in the Bible, to mistrust yourself or question your own perceptions. I believe this is dangerous. When a woman, in particular, questions herself and thinks her own understanding is not to be trusted, she is that much more likely to be abused and ignore red flags, anyone is. She is also likely to forget abuse because she can't trust her own judgments anyway. This is actually a tactic used in court to dismiss peoples testimony, getting them to question their own story.
Thus, the other quote. Jeremiah, our heart is deceitful. This is also not a theme from the Bible but it is quoted so much its almost comical. Our heart is where God places His Torah in the new covenant under Yeshua. Why would he put His Torah, which is obviously so incredibly valuable to Him, or the newer writings "on our hearts" if our heart is deceitful? That does not seem logical. Also illogical is Him giving us our hearts and minds and then us always saying we shouldn't trust ourselves, isn't that kind of an insult to Him, who Created us?
Just before this verse in Jeremiah he talks about trees not withering from the heat (appropriate for me gardening in Arizona eh???). He talks about not trusting in man because His people always ended up getting freaked out and doing what everyone else was doing because it seemed to be working. He is talking about Judah and the land, not telling his people to debase themselves by never trusting their heart. This too is very dangerous. It teaches us to be disconnected from ourselves and our feelings. This is the root of abuse. When children are not taught about their bodies, they do not share when they are abused. When they are taught not to trust their feelings or their hearts, which is also a hugely pervasive theme in Christianity, they are likely to not have boundaries and allow themselves to be mistreated.
This is big guys. It seems like minute semantics. But, it isn't. These things are all shame based. As someone who is in my Masters program to become a counselor, this is really alarming to me. I believed these things. Honestly, those beliefs did help for a time. They helped me shove my feelings down far enough that I didn't "deal" with them so I looked pretty darn good on the outside. This is not Gods way. In Judaism there is a saying called Tikkun Olam, or repair the world. God trusts us to help repair the world. We are the ones who broke it in the garden and continue to break it with teachings like this and our selfishness and greed and abuses.
We are not wretched sinners. We are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, set apart for Him. We have His power within us. We have His Torah written on our hearts. His Torah is holy. We cannot look at Scriptures through a lense of jumping in on a previous conversation and assuming we know what the previous conversations were. We are merely branches. This is the humility, not self debasement and self-hatred.
Let's not continue teaching self-hatred and criticism to our daughters, attributing it to God-God forbid!!!
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amen. many good points.
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