Update Home :-)

 We just got back from CA where we went to spend time with my family by blood and my Mispocha.  My mom is recently recovered from a heart attack and we wanted to cheer her up and see if she'd walk and take my Personal Training advice. 

Selah was out of school for 2 weeks and I was/am out of work.  When we got there, my engine seal exploded and my dad had to put the cost on a card, something neither of us have money to pay back.  But thanks be to God that I was not on the road when it happened as my engine would have seized and it could have cost 4xs what it did!  Plus, I'm grateful I was near my dad and that he could help.  Baruch HaShem!

My daughter loves the new childrens program and shabbat school at our "old" congregation, she made friends quickly.  She always does.  And my mom did great!  She is determined and willing, that's all that matters!

My mom got me this book by Anne Lammot, it's so refreshing and cool.  The minute I am thinking about throwing in the towel on this whole "following God" thing, I get something very encouraging and lovely to give me perspective.  We are back in our own apartment now and when Selah laid down she said "ah...our own bedding, it's sooo soft and refershing".  So funny!  Here is a little video she made with her new keyboard and microphone. 

Hypocrisy

Well now, that is a strong word. To normalize: A hypocrite is an actor, someone who puts on a mask to play a part.  We cannot stand hypocrites.  Many people I talk to claim people who go to church are hypocrites and that's why they will never go.  And, it is true, it's a sore spot for me too.  I think we need to admit though, that we are all hypocrites.  If we are not in the mood to talk or deal with our feelings, we say we're okay "just tired", or "just busy", or "just hungry"...whatever. 

We say we are "observant" (for those who keep the Commandments of G-d), when inside we are full of bitterness, disappointment and resentment.  We say we're "walking by faith", when really we're hopeless inside and need to talk about it.  We're liars.  Each and every one of us.  We pretend in many ways.

Last sabbath (saturday), the dance leader asked who needed prayer and about 15 of us prayed together.  One lady mentioned about sifting the wheat from the tares.  This is a parable from the Bible.  When harvesting, you cannot seperate the wheat and the tares until all is harvested.  The wheat represents good fruit, or a person who is a Believer.  The tares...those are the ones who are the pretenders.  They look just like wheat, they may go to the same shul, the same temple, the same church, go to the same school, speak the same words, read the Bible right with you.  You cannot tell the difference.  And you know what? Yeshua (Jesus) said to just let them both grow together. 

But, I have all kinds of friends who want to yank those tares out!  Pick at them, leave a place of worship over them, leave community over them.  Leave, yank, pull, destroy or isolate oneself.  Now, do those seem healthy?  Really?

I was listening to a teaching from a guy who teaches Christians about their Jewish roots and he basically says "well, of course there are hypocrites, there always have been, and there always will be".  Why get so ruffled by it?  I must say, I get ruffled.  Everytime I hear someone acknowledge that December 25 is NOT Jesus birthday and yet they teach others error anyway...I get furious in my gut!  You mean you know it's pagan and you just celebrate it anyway?  Everytime I hear about a pastor or leaders hidden life exposed, I think "why did God allow them in that position?", right along with the cat who won't step foot in a church because of garbage like that.  Here is the thing, you say "well Jesus called them on their stuff, he didn't let it slide...".  You know why???  Because he was THERE! He was with them, in their midst.  How is anyone going to "rebuke" if you never go?  Jesus submitted himself to and learned from for what? At least 20 years, 20 years!!! He studied Torah under them, he was bar mitzvahs like any observant Jew.  He was invited to read from the Torah, which means he sat under their teaching on sabbath "as was his custom".

I have some friends who refuse to go to a Messnianc Congregation, are considering leaving one, or won't go to church...because of Christmas.  Look, the pagan roots of Christmas are a huge discussion we can commence on and trust me, I am studied on the subject Biblically.  It's just that its december so it's fresh for many.  But, how are you accomplishing anything for the kingdom by isolating? How is that teaching anyone? 

I had been considering leaving over this issue, and many other hypocrisies I noticed.  I want to be around like-minded people too and when I find disconnects, then all of the sudden, there are so many I want to leave. When I heard this message, I was convicted.  Of my own hypocrisy, my own selfish attitudes, my own need for humbling and repentance.  I recognized the fact that there are people who can look at my life and say I, too, am a hypocrite.  Thank God they don't abandoned me or stop seeing me.  Thank God they don't cut me out of their lives but love me anyway; tell me the truth, and love me.  I hope we can do the same...

What if???

 We are getting to spend an entire week with my mom after her heart attack.  I was let go from one of my jobs, which was/is disheartening and a bit scary financially, but it opened the door for us to come and see how she is recovering.  I got sick te very first day we got here when I woke up, yuck!  That means I haven't been able to work out for almost 4 days and coughed up what looked like part of my insides, not much help in this condition. 

We have been having a great time coloring and building the below dollhouse made of paper and cardboard, what a great idea!  Selah loves when we all sit at the kitchen table, color, read and play and that is all I have had to energy to do!  This year, I determined not to be fussy about Christmas, though I still feel the same about it (see another blog).  Being with my mom is so much more important.  I get frustrated, then just sad, for friends who refuse to spend time with famil due to different beliefs.  I wonder how they will feel when those family are no longer around.

I have been thinking alot about my own beliefs anyway, challenging them.  I remember being super vehement about all things Christian, some of which I realize I was DEAD WRONG about.  Ask me if you wish.  So, if I was so zealous and so wrong, who is to say I am not wrong now?  This thought makes me want to retreat into a quiet shell, making no waves, saying nothing.  I think back or have someone tell me how influencial I was in their lives, and it scares me.  What if I am influencing wrongly?  I had a wise person tell me to be careful because they said my fire was like a moth to a flame.  I have a knack for drawing people in, but what if for error? 

Alas, I think of these things and hope to be more mature, more tactful, more filled with grace.  That is my prayer, that no man be drawn into anger or sin because of me.  That's all for now

The Christmas Talk

This year Selah and I celebrated Hanukkah all 8 days.  We lit candles each night, we discussed what Hanukkah means and why we celebrate it.  This year was the first year Selah was in public school.  All month, the teachers and students sang songs about Santa, talked about Christmas, had a Christmas play and exchanged gifts.  I have never taught my own daughter about Santa and yet she came home telling me all about him, his elves, where he lives and details she did not learn from me or from TV.   One day, she started crying and said "Mom, we are the only ones in the WHOLE SCHOOL (her emphasis), who don't celebrate Christmas".
Thankfully, the school is wonderful and invited me to teach the children about Hnaukkah.  Here are the lessons of what I taught Selah every night and what the children learned.  Hanukkah means dedication.  We then tell the true, historical, based on fact, story of the Macabees and King Antioch.  This King decided that people, namely the jews, could not worship the way they wanted to.  I asked the children how they would feel if the President of the United States made a law that no one could celebrate Christmas anymore or read the Bible.  They were shocked of course. I asked if they would disobey that law in their own homes and still read their holy book and celebrate the day they believe their god was born.  Many children said they would. This King forbid the Jews to read their holy books, to worship on their holy day or do anything they believed in.  Some rebelled and fled to the mountains.  The believed so strongly in their God that they refused to bow to the world system. And you know what?  They won!  The king got tired of fighting them and left the city.  But, they had defiled Gods temple.  So, the Jewish people re-dedicated the temple.  Hanukkah-dedication.

In the Bible, God asked that the oil be burning 24/7 in the temple.  There are many reasons for this, some say the eternal light is to remind us of Gods light among us, others say it is our way to continue burning our own light.  Either way, for that light to go out is tragic.  Oil was kept always to keep the light burning.  But it was all destroyed.  But the people found enough for one night of light.  The 8 night thing is myth, tradition.  We discussed it in class and lit the candles but even without the miracle of 8 nights of oil from only one night, reminding ourselves to light the candles, bringing Gods light to earth and rekindling the light within us, are amazing lessons.  Spiritual, loving, worthy lessons. 

But, Jesus Himself celebrated Hanukkah.  In John 10:22-26, he observes the Feast of Dedication.  It is also called Festival of Lights.  In Christianity, Jesus is the Light of the World, he refers to him as such.  So, it makes perfect sense that he would celebrate this feast.  It is a feast of fighting against the world system and its decrees against religious freedom.  It is a feast about dedicating oneself back to God.  It is a feast of rekindling our light, letting God light our hearts on fire again for Him.  How beautiful. 

In the Bible, someones birth is not nearly as valuable as the life they live.  To focus on a baby who has not yet done anything good or bad, like we do on Christmas, is not a Biblical concept and not something I teach.  I prefer to teach about the life of Yeshua. 

So, on Hanukkah, we talk about what it means to follow God even when everyone around us is doing other things.  We talk about the shamash candle, the middle candle, the helper candle that lights all the others, and we try to find ways to serve and help others.  These are the reasons we celebrate.

I get frustrated with Christmas.  It is not based on fact, history or truth.  Jesus was not born in December, the inns were full because people were celebrating the eternal Feast of the Lord, Tabernacles/Sukkot.  It s one of many examples where Christianity has missed deeper meanings because they chose to overlook the Jewish roots of their faith.  The macabees would not cave, they would not bow down to pagan ideas of false gods.  May we do the same.