As many of you may know, I recently was invited to speak at a Lutheran church about Passover. I was very nervous because there is so much amazing insight and information I wanted to convey. As I was spending time preparing the weeks and hours before, I was struck with a thought.
God made this happen.
God wants this message to get to believers more than I ever could want it. He created the opportunity knowing how much I long for the church to know its roots. HE wants this!
That thought led to another. I have friends-turned-aquaintences who refuse fellowship with people because they believe differently. These friends continually have something to disagree with in every Messianic congregation, every church, the Jewish community, on and on. And, whats more, I did the same thing for many, many years! And had I still believed this, way, my heart would be shut and this opportunity would have never happened.
After the service, many people came to me saying they have longed to hear these things and didn't know where to start. Now, they do. This makes me so happy I am crying. We have GOT to stop being so seclusive and dogmatic!!! We have got to stop pointing out all the differences and start being more like Who we say we believe in!
Is there a difference between holy and profane? Yes. Is there lines you sometimes don't cross? Yes. Do you start doing what others do just because you are around them? No way. If we cannot be around others who disagree, do things we wouldn't, say things we don't, dress in a way we find inappropriate, etc., then how strong is our own faith? Do we have to be around people who agree all the time? What good is that? Can we not parent our own children without having to hide them from people we think are "ungodly"?
How do you shed light if you're only around people who think like you! How do you learn for that matter if you're only around people who think the same?
I'm angry, sad and encouraged all at the same time. I spent so much time finding differences that I missed out on relationship with some rad people. I am mad that this mentality is what caused my daughter and I to be put out in the middle of the night by even "like-minded" believers! I am mad that this mentality is what caused me to become so isolated in my marriage and in my friendships that I lost them!
I remember sharing with a 5 year old girl. She kept winning every time she raced her friends. They, being younger and not as skilled, started to cry. I coached them that we cannot always win and that's ok and then I said to her "what is more important? winning? or having your friends?". She answered friends. If only we, if only I, lived more like this too. It makes my heart hurt.
And I am encouraged that despite my own bad attitudes and refusal to associate, God chose to still get His message across. I am humbled that He would still chose me. And, I am grateful that my heart is not so calloused anymore that He could call on me. And I share because I imagine others feel all these same things in some manner or another.
Love came down and rescued me.
On the note briefly mentioned above about parenting and on a complete tangent but not really, I speak to myself on this. Yesterday, at my daughters school, they had an egg hunt. I had been meticulous about keeping her away from all Easter type stuff. I feel strongly about this, the roots of eggs and fertility and even Easter (Ishtar) is all from really pagan and dark roots. I think you can have fun with kids in so many other ways and times that repeating pagan practices, just because its fun, is, well, not for me. Sure, we've made it for other symbolism but once I know, I cannot participate. I will not lie to my daughter and say it means something it really doesn't. This is for another time.
Suffice it to say, I was faced with a dilemma. The school did not call the eggs Easter eggs but they cannot stop the kids from calling it that. So, she did an egg hunt. Something I despise. I had a choice. I could make the school feel bad, I could make the others kids and school "informed" about the pagan roots, I could get upset and tell my daughter "that's pagan!".
Or, I could parent her. I could take the next few hours and the few days after this event and truly parent her. I can turn the eggs into sound shakers and dance to Passover, Messianic music. We can have a discussion about how animals that lay eggs are called Oviperous, something she just learned in school. I can take her to a Seder and hide the Afikomen and let her search for it, cheer her on and give her a prize when she finds it! I can talk to her about different cultural and religious practices, get books and read them together. I can get movies about the different seasonal traditions all around the world. I can then point out, this is what we do in our family. There is no shame, no telling others they are wrong, no making her feel wrong, just mommy and Selah teaching time. I parent. It takes more time. It takes more balancing my own emotions, it's harder. It is simply harder. But that is what being a parent is.
