I haven't celebrated Christmas in many years now. When I first discovered the roots and history of it, and compared it with Scripture, I had a revelation and conviction. Naturally, I wanted everyone to believe exactly the same as me and see "the truth". I used big words like "pagan" and "idolatry". I refused to go see my family on the holiday. You have some people in your life that have done the same, I am sure. If not, you've seen their posts on Facebook this time of year. I am very sorry to say I was one of them.What I realized is that not one of the people in my life came to change the way they see Christmas by my behavior and speech. I did find others who believe the same way. Of those people, I have not seen one person change their traditions based on the "speaking truth" philosophy. I really haven't. What I have seen is families torn apart on the holidays they once cherished. Now, there are some families who are dysfunctional and it's probably a good thing to set boundaries. More often though, I have personally seen people disconnect from their families due to a theology difference. This is not honoring the commandment to honor your father and mother. The main people who do this, myself included, are people who profess to "really" be obeying the commands of God. This started to remind me of when Yeshua chastised the religious leaders for tithing their mint but forgetting the heart.
I have found that what changes those around me is first changing myself, then showing love, compassion and patience. Telling people that they are "heaping judgments on themselves" or getting riled up and "filled with truth" to the point of defensiveness serves no one, no one. If I say I hear God but cannot be disagreed with, I for sure am "led by the spirit" but no one is sure what or which one. The Holy Spirit is secure, doesn't get buttons pushed or become reactive. This Spirit is gracious.
It used to anger and urk me every year when everyone would say Merry Christmas not caring whether or not I celebrated it, it felt like a boundary violation. A punch. What I learned is that not one of these people is wishing me to serve other gods or bow down to idols or revert to paganism. I mean, really. They are wishing me joy, happiness, good will, they smile and really mean well. I receive that. It's my choice to receive it with their intention. It's my choice to be kind in return. I can say "thank you, you too!" or I can be annoyed and quip back "I don't celebrate it" while walking away or past whomever wished it. Which produces more Tikkun Olam (repair the world)? Seriously, which one?
People celebrate Christmas. They do it with love in their hearts. Some suffer tremendously around this holiday from grief or dysfunctional families or abuse. Some sell out to commercialism. But none of them are intentionally bowing down to idols or wishing you to forsake your God. Be kind. Let go of your angst. It doesn't even serve you, let alone anyone else.
Also, do you know how my family started to accept my different beliefs and even start to respect them and me? By me dying to my sacred cow of my theology and showing up to be with them. By me letting them disagree and not storming off in a hissy fit of self-righteousness. It takes time. This is relationship. This is what Yeshua/Jesus would do too. He probably wouldn't eat the ham or bacon (just saying) but he would show love and graciousness. When others ask why we don't do things they do, He and we, answer them with joy. No one is going to ask or want what we have if all they see is angst, defensiveness, and self-righteousness and that's the straight up truth.
I have changed my tune on this. I still don't celebrate Christmas. It isn't the birth of Jesus, factually. I don't set up a tree and I certainly won't sing songs about Santa. I chose to die to myself and be with the ones I love who do celebrate though. Isn't *that* what Jesus/Yeshua said to do? Die to ourselves? I spend time with my Christian family on Christmas now and have for a few years. My mom doesn't put up trees anymore and we don't have music about Santa. They don't serve pork to my family. I chose to spend the aging years of my parents *with* them. This is love for my children, my husband, my family and I.
I am secure in what I believe and no longer need everyone to think like me.
