I'm up way later than usual. I'm Sad. I'm Confused. Yes, I meant to capitalize those feelings. And, it isn't all about the elections.

I've been feeling a shift for a few months and I know that sounds weird...but I have. Like deep in my core. I'm not sure precisely what it means or why but I know I have to do things differently and I kindof do not want to. It's not that I don't want to, I don't know how and it's going to be hard and I'm sick of always overcoming. What I do know for sure is this: anxiety doesn't change things. Fear, hatred, blame, shaming, these are all things that paralyze us. They keep us from realizing our destiny in this life. Tikkun Olam, repair our world. It's not someone else's job. A President doesn't fix it, even a tightly woven religion doesn't fix it, we fix our world. We stop trying when we live in anxiety and hate. Period. And we must continue to try.

I am so grateful for my husband and my two girls. I have really cool kids and I have a husband that I could never imagine deserving. Loyal. Patient, good God ever patient. Smart, brilliant actually. Cares about humanity, gives blood, does volunteer work. My oldest is super hyper and talks non stop it seems some days. She's also really intuitive, opinionated, strong, capable and smart. My heart swells to almost bursting when I think about her (when she isn't chattering in my ear about Minecraft). My youngest...she is proof that I am loved by my Creator. If you knew my story, how much I've been told I couldn't do, and to have her, at my age and with all my baggage, like I said, proof. She is so loving and chill. She had her 1st day with a nanny today because I have to intern full-time and my husband has to work and she didn't even fuss a little when I left. She's a thinker, like her dad too, whenever she sees a mirror (like in some of our books), she wants to look behind it to see if she can figure out how it works.

Think about what is true, what is real, what you're grateful for. It will help you try and hope again. That's what you know.