This is my only way to journal since my hand gets tired when writing and my laptop is kaput. So last Sunday Selah and I adventured away from the base to Portland Zoo. We watched the otters jump and play, Selah loved it. I could have had an agenda to see more things and hurry on to the next and I was tempted to do just that. But, I decided to let her, let us, enjoy together. She soon hugged my neck and let me hold her and chatted away about how otters are fun and how she has so much fun with me. It was a keeper moment. Had we left when I thought we should to get the most of our money and make sure we saw it all, we would have missed Selah's favorite part...
The Chimpanzee with the poop in her mouth. Yes folks, we watched a female Chimp as she pooped before our eyes and then put it in her mouth. She looked me in the eyes, then Selah, and pushed the poop onto the window in front of us, directly in front of us. She then smeared it with her lips into a decoration, see this! Like our cats would do with little lizards or birds. Selah is still talking about it 4 days later. The best part again, was that she wanted to cuddle, to be together doing something just us. She gazed at me alot. She asked questions. She delighted in the silly moment. She squealed, "mommy, this is so fun! I love this day!"
I got to thinking a bit about this. The Chimp could have been exhibiting aggression, showing how she dislikes captivity. I don't know. But what I know is that it is a memorial moment for Selah and I. It was the first time we had mommy and her time since we got here. We are together alot but I teach the children so she has to share me and does not have my undivided attention. And, she didn't care what we were doing, she just wanted to be close. How many moments we miss like this with our agendas. How many encounters of closeness with others, our children, ourselves, and God we miss.
As for aggression of the chimp, Selah had been exhibiting alot of aggression, testiness, not listening, saying more no, etc. She was fighting me a lot the last few days. Some of it was lack of sleep but I realized through this poop encounter, lol, that she needed my undivided attention. She needed to not have an agenda that was not her own. Once we spent some time playing what she wanted and even going for ice cream, she finished her dinner with no whining, she got in her bath with no fight, she got in bed with no argument. Oh blessed day!
During her nap I started to ask God, what am I doing wrong? Why is she so resistant all of the sudden? We had a parenting seminar here on base that I felt gave me some great information. I know, its normal for this age. I felt like he said, remember to give her more choices, you used to ask her if she wanted this shirt or that, this toy or that. He also reminded me that being a parent is difficult. It is hard on you. It takes time. Changing innate behaviors is time consuming. But He does that for us. It is not about first time obedience or conformity, or our agenda. God Himself gives us many lessons and much time and does not get His way with us. He understands. So should we. So should I.
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